A friend and
I were discussing fictional romantic relationships and why they are so bad on
television. Specifically, he was talking about Castle and Beckett, and how the
writers seem to have pulled out every contrived romantic plot device from their
grandmother’s attic to keep this couple apart.
Why? Why, on one of the best-written, snappiest,
most popular shows on TV, do the writers resort to stuff that would get anyone
laughed out of Harelquin’s senior offices in a heartbeat.
Maybe it’s
this:
Stories have
a beginning, a middle and an end. When you go to see Two Weeks' Notice, you
know that as soon as Hugh Grant figures out that he can’t live without Sandra
Bullock, then you better be finished with your popcorn because we’re done. Sleepless in Seattle – once they meet on top of the Empire State Building, what
else do we need to know?
Romantic
comedies are a short-term commitment. We fall in love with the characters just
as they do. We sit through the conflict. We figure it all out for them. Then,
when they see it too, it’s over. Our 90 minutes are up, and we go out humming
the pop song that ran over the credits. We might even buy the soundtrack. But
we don’t care what happens to them next. We were invested; they paid off. And
now we’re on our way to Johnny Rockets for a milkshake.
The same is
true of books. When we buy a romance novel, we know what we’re getting. They
are going to meet. They are going to fall in love. Some plausible conflict is
going to keep them apart, but they are going to grow and change and overcome
it. Then the book is finished.
Prince
Charming puts the slipper on Cinderella’s foot, AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER
AFTER.
The Prince
wakes up Sleeping Beauty with a kiss, AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
No one, from
Hans Christian Anderson to Nora Roberts, tells us what happens after that. We
don’t care. We got our reward and we’re done.
Not so for
television. The people who make TV programs don’t want them to end. They want
them to go on and on for decades, earning money for the network, the writers,
the actors, the sponsors. There is no Happily Ever After in television.
So they
can’t put the happy couple together. Because once they do, what’s left? You wind up having House drive a car through
Cuddy’s living room because.....well, what else can they do with him? They
certainly can’t have Dr. Gregory House live happily ever after. That’s
ridiculous by anyone’s standards. Ask Sherlock Holmes. He’ll tell you.
Dave and
Maddie. How many episodes of Moonlighting did you watch after they hooked up?
There wasn’t
a single resident of Stars Hollow who didn’t know that Luke and Lorelei
belonged together. But the writers knew they couldn’t let it happen, so they
went for the oldest trick in the romance writer’s book – the secret baby. And
it didn’t work for them. You find me a tried and true Gilmore Girls fan who
didn’t stand up and cheer when April Nardini moved to Arizona. Or wherever it
was. Who cares? We just wanted her gone because her existence didn’t make
sense.
And when did
Luke and Lorelei finally get together for good? On the very last episode of the
show. Thank you. THAT’S the way to end a show. And they lived happily ever
after.
But back to
Castle and Beckett. We like the show. We love Castle. He really is ruggedly
handsome. We were sorry to see Firefly cancelled, but we’re glad we still get
to see Nathan Fillion every week. And as much as we know he needs Beckett and
Beckett needs him, I BEG the writers not to let it happen. Don’t jump that
shark!
You can give
us sexual tension. We eat that with a spoon. Throw them together and then break
them apart. But do it with style. Do it smart. Do it in a way that the
characters deserve.
Because
that’s what keeps us coming back.
For really
good conflict, resolved in a way that makes sense, click on one of the links
over on the right. A LOTUS-COVERED DOOR for a quick read, BLAME IT ON THE GHOST
for paranormal intervention, or TOUGHER THAN DIAMONDS for island-hopping,
bullet-dodging, diamond-chasing adventure served hot and fresh with your romance.
No contrived
conflict to be found
.
And they
lived happily ever after.
5 comments:
Thanks for the explanation. Castle should hire you as a consultant And you could give them all a vicious Jethro Gibbs head slap.
Oh, don't get me started on NCIS. Tony and Ziva need to stay Tony and Ziva.
I don't think Tony and Ziva will turn mushy until it looks like the series is ending. That's not to say they should have an episode or two of angry sex, tho.
I agree that this is why everyone ( well,the writers) believe that romantic tension should be maintained. However, I also believe that interest would not necessarily be lost if the couple would FINALLY get together. For example, I would never miss a Nick and Nora Charles mystery if they were still being made. Or for a more current example, Michael and Fiona. I think it all depends on the quality of the writing.
But Michael and Fiona
already had a relationship when we met them, and it hasn't been easy sailing as it goes. And weren't Nick and Nora already married in the first Thin Man? I'm listening to a Modern Scholar lecture that you should seek out at your library. It's something like The Detective in Fiction from Victorian Sleuth to Modern Times. Really, really good.
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